anatomy Read online

  anatomy

  Yolanda Olson

  Edited by

  Pinpoint Editing

  Cover designed by

  Desiree DeOrto

  Copyright © 2018 Yolanda Olson

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form, or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission from the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

  Contents

  Acknowledgments

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Chapter 18

  Chapter 19

  Chapter 20

  Forgive Me My Sins

  Chapter 21

  Chapter 22

  Chapter 23

  About the Author

  Acknowledgments

  To my team of wonderful PAs, Lis, Linda, and Dawn, thank you for sitting through the headache that is Yolanda Olson and not quitting on me. You ladies kept me laughing through this entire thing when I doubted my sanity, and you made sure I finished it! You’re the best crew anyone can have!

  Desiree DeOrto of Desiree DeOrto Artist and Designer for making such a beautiful cover that just fit. Thank you for bringing life to this idea once and for making me proud that the words inside matched the genius on the outside.

  Evelyn of Pinpoint Editing. Thank you so much for your hard work on this! Your comments always make for a fun read through!

  For Bootz

  Prologue

  Sharp objects.

  Dull objects.

  No matter what you can get your hands on, everything cuts like a knife. Some things take more time to break through; others are just a quick, clean slice.

  I like knives; small ones usually inflict the most harm because it takes longer for the body to die. I’ll bet you think I’m full of shit, so let me show you.

  Not once on your day to day meanderings did you think or know I was watching, but I have you now and I’m beyond elated.

  I want you to take special care to feel every cut, every piece of skin being removed from your body―because it all belongs to me. Your thoughts? Your life? They belong to me as well, and I’m going to enjoy making this painful.

  I don’t want there to be any surprises. I don’t want any screaming or sounds of dismay; you’ve earned this and it’s time to begin. You’ve asked for it in more ways than one, and while you never knew I was lingering in the dark shadows, I’ve heard your silent pleas for this.

  I’ve been disappointed in a fair few things in life. I’m apt at finding the disappointment in everything because nothing is perfect.

  Nothing except you, and I can’t let such a thing of beauty survive in a world so ugly. You understand, don’t you?

  I think I’ll use the paring knife on you. I want to keep parts of you forever and this will make the most precise, perfect cuts.

  I’m quite fond of sectioning and I hope you’ll appreciate this as time goes on.

  Are you ready?

  Good, let’s start with your forearm. I’ll take care to not cut too deeply because I don’t want you to bleed out before I’ve had a chance to allow you some time to feel the pain. Before I mount your head on my fucking wall and stare at you every night before I go to my bedroom and dream of what we’ve done here.

  Stop squirming.

  It won’t help and I don’t want to have to restrain you. Close your eyes if you wish, but don’t hold your breath because it’ll only heighten the anticipation and make the pain so much worse when I begin.

  You do want me to begin, don’t you? I won’t lie, I find the prolonging of the act quite sensual and I can feel my cock rising. Don’t worry, I don’t fuck the living, and to be quite honest, I don’t know if you’re worthy of having me inside you once you’ve gone cold.

  I’ll decide that when the moment comes. For now, let’s just enjoy each others company, shall we?

  Ah―there’s the blood. The cut wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be, was it? I’ll try another part once I’ve managed to remove this patch of skin. You won’t need it soon, so no complaints, please.

  Bite down! Stop screaming! What did I just tell you? If you can’t take having a chunk removed from your arm, we’re in for a long fucking night.

  Wait.

  I know.

  Listen, normally I don’t do this, but I think it would be best if you just opened your mouth for me. Don’t look at me like that―like I’m a whore looking for a quick fuck. I’ve already told you I want no part of the living.

  Warm flesh does nothing for me. Cold flesh does even less, but at least then you won’t be able to judge me. For what, you’re probably wondering. You’ll see when the time comes.

  Would you, though? Judge me if I fucked you while you were alive? Your eyes tell me you’ve already drawn your own conclusions about me, but I can’t help that I feel curious about what you would feel like while still alive.

  This is strange for me, because I usually don’t second guess myself, but there’s something about you that’s telling me I should wait.

  We’ll see.

  Let’s continue.

  Open your mouth. Good girl; a little wider please so we can stop you from screaming.

  Don’t bite me. That’s your only warning and I hope you’ll heed it. Now stick your tongue out. Don’t worry, you’ll go into partial shock and with any luck you won’t choke on your blood once I―there!

  See? One quick slice and we’re done. Now we’ve gotten that out of the way, instead of crying and writhing about like a ravenous whore, bite down on this and hold still.

  Good girl.

  You’re such a good girl and I can’t help but smile.

  Are you ready now? We’ve got a long way to go yet.

  Good, good.

  Close your eyes again and bite down on your arm. It’s going to hurt a hell of a lot more this time.

  Oh, stop crying, you’re ruining my mood and I haven’t even made the next incision. Just take a deep breath and hold it. Try not to swallow any blood now I’ve made room in that hole you call a mouth, and try not to bite down too deeply on your arm. It would be an absolute tragedy if the flesh got wedged in your throat. Could you imagine suffocating to death on your own body? It would be an embarrassment, a tragedy, and I’ll have no part of it.

  Okay.

  This next cut, as I’ve told you, will be much worse. Would you like me to tell you why? I can’t tell if that was a nod or a sob but I’ll explain myself nonetheless.

  I’m going to start here―at the top of your shoulder, and cut all the way down to your wrist. I’ll move quickly because the sting of the blade will be maddening. Understand I’m not doing it to spare you that sensation, I’m doing it so I can gauge your reaction once it’s done.

  Deep breath in―

  I do wish you would stop screaming. No one is coming to save you; you already know this because deep down inside you’re just like me. You don’t want to be saved. I would sincerely appreciate if you would cut the fuckin
g theatrics out already and just accept this.

  I’ll give you a treat if you stop whining. It would really be a treat for me, but I’m sure you’ll enjoy it as well. Just let me pull the skin away ... from ... the ... bone...

  That never gets any easier, and I’m sorry if it caused more pain than it should have.

  Open your eyes, please, I need to make sure you’re still with me.

  Thank you.

  Now, about that treat. Would you like to know what it is or would you rather I just show you?

  I’m sorry, but I can’t understand you sputtering through that gaping hole of a mouth. I guess you would need that tongue to be able to better enunciate your words.

  I shouldn’t be smiling about that and I apologize, but I’m only working to making you more beautiful. You’ll see when it’s over; you’ll understand why this had to happen and then you’ll remember that this is what you wanted all along.

  I need you to look away now; close your eyes. I’m not going to hurt you for the moment if you do what I say.

  Thank you.

  Goddamn.

  I’ve never seen my dick so hard before and I know I’m doing the right thing, I just hope you’ll appreciate it as much as I will.

  You’re going to have to stay very still for me and try not to move. If I hit a bone and hurt myself, I’ll be very angry.

  Good God.

  The warmth of the wound in your arm hugs my cock like your pussy would, had I chosen that instead, but I have a love of blood and I haven’t decided if I’m going to annihilate your gash yet.

  Hold still; I’ll make quick work of this and if you open your eyes, they’ll be the next things that go into your fucking mouth, do you understand?

  Fuck.

  I can’t quite maneuver myself the way I want to because your goddamn arm keeps moving and I’m going to hurt myself, I know I am.

  Open your mouth. I have a solution.

  It’s not exactly my ideal situation but it looks like it’s still intact and I’ll be just fine using this instead. I’ll be back to you in a moment, I just need this release.

  I should have cut a larger piece; the flesh isn’t wrapping all the way around my cock, but it still feels nice. Moving it up and down, feeling the slickness of your spit all over it is enough for me.

  Does all of you feel this good? I can ... only ... imagine... FUCK.

  I knew I would make quick work of this but I didn’t think it would be that damn quick. It was the warmth, you see, and the sound of your mutilated meat on my dick that made it so easy.

  I guess that means I’m easier than I thought!

  Ha ha ha.

  Sorry, I can see you don’t find the humor in this, but be happy you can see at all. Now, open your mouth again. I’ve got a nice sticky treat for you.

  Good girl.

  You’re such a good girl.

  I’ll let you rest for a moment and enjoy the taste of my cum in your mouth before we continue.

  1

  There are only three hours left until midnight and I’m afraid. It’s the only time I can admit such a thing because it’s always when the nightmare comes to life. I’ve taken more pills than I should have, but just enough to know it won’t lead to an overdose.

  I just want to sleep through it because it hurts so goddamn much. It’s a conundrum, really; I like the pain and I know I deserve to be put through hell because of the person I am, but I wish what I do to myself would be enough to spare me.

  Even so, the pills should help dull some of the worst of the pain I’m enduring, because if I want to live till the end I have to learn to swallow it deep down inside me. No matter how much more it tends to hurt than I initially expected, no matter how much of a sucker punch it feels to my very soul, I will endure because I can find some pleasure in the torment.

  Nothing has power unless we allow it. A raindrop on the face doesn’t disturb anyone until they decide to notice it. Some like the feeling of rain on their bare flesh; others run from the simple gift from nature.

  Flesh is what I treasure the most; not for the sins, but for the feeling. It gives me a reason to continue every day I feel I can no longer go on. It gives me life in the moments I want to lie down and die.

  A pound of flesh pays for most sins these days. It’s a currency hidden deep in dark alleys we’re afraid to walk down but so quietly look for when we think no one is watching. I’m not afraid of what lies in the darkness because I’ve seen the depths a man can sink to curb his bitter cravings for just one more day.

  I’m not like the dregs I used to pass each night as I carried my pound of flesh to barter for my crimes. I moved with purpose, skill, and with my head held high because every last person in any of these fucking places has a debt they owe.

  Some owe a debt for another life, some for perversions beyond my understanding, but none of them are like me. The debt I owe cannot be seen by the human eye because it’s hidden deep inside me.

  Even though I have no fear being in this place, I know that I have to move quickly. There are only three hours left until midnight and if I’m still in this godforsaken place, I know I’ll be afraid.

  The nightmare―it comes in the guise of a man I can’t quite discern from the shadows, but he’s always there, watching silently, waiting for the day I owe him a debt so he can take more than a pound of flesh in payment.

  He’s the worst criminal of us all because he ropes the unsuspecting into his games. Promises of clean slates, caring hands, and if one is lucky enough, of a love everlasting, but he always collects his due.

  A glance at the clock again tells me it’s closer to midnight now than I thought, and that means he’ll be back for his “good little girl” and I’ll have to hide the fact that I’ve gotten my hands on the pills.

  I only want to go to sleep long enough to dull the pain, but will it be enough? Is it ever enough?

  Another hour and we begin again; have mercy on me, tormentor mine. Kill me quickly and forget I was ever a part of your hellish fantasy, or allow me to survive this and collect your pound of flesh so I may restart my life with a clean slate and never have to face you again.

  2

  You’re so pretty when you smile. Have I told you this yet? I should have before I cut your tongue out so you could properly thank me, but to watch my seed slide down your chin into your waiting hands below tells me you’ve already begun to change your mind about this.

  You’re beginning to enjoy it, aren’t you? You’re embracing the pain and that’s really the only way we’ll both get through this in sound mind. I know you probably think that by the end, you’ll be alive and ready to leave my humble abode a new person, ready to start over, but you’re far too wicked to be allowed such a thing.

  Besides, we’re going to make such a beautiful fucking mess out of you, and it would be a shame to get this far and let you go free, wouldn’t it?

  Remember, you’re here because you want to be. You understand the atrocities you’ve committed and you knew it would only be a matter of time before we found each other in the darkness. I’ve watched you flaunt your pound of flesh, waiting for someone with enough fortitude to come and collect it, but I can understand why you never thought it would be someone like me.

  It’s okay. All will be revealed when I feel you’ve earned that much, and you’ll accept it then. You won’t have a choice because you’re mine now, and in an odd way, I guess I’m yours, too.

  I would like to think it’s only for the moments we share, this ownership of each other, but there’s something special about you that will stay with me forever.

  Perhaps I’ll stay with you, too. Do you think you’ll remember me in the great beyond? Why are you looking at me like that? I’ve already told you you’re not going to survive this. There’s no point in tears and there’s no point trying to beg―it’s unbecoming—and besides, I can’t understand much of what you’re sputtering without your tongue, remember?

  I may sew it back in. As a matter of fact, sin
ce the thought is playing in my mind, I may as well put it in the icebox. It’ll be more viable for us later than if I leave it on the floor rotting beside you.

  I’d ask you what you think of what we’re doing here, but I’ll be honest and tell you I don’t much care for your opinion. If I did, I would have given you a choice in the matters at hand.

  We’ll have a proper discussion about the situation at hand when I’m almost done with you. Does that give you some comfort for now? To know I will indeed give you your tongue back at some point? To know you’ll be able to say all the wicked little words sitting so quietly in your mind?

  I hope it does because it’s the only comfort I am willing to allow you, but I will warn you: if you make this harder than it needs to be going forward―if you fight me even in the slightest―I will make this a thousand times worse than anything you can possibly imagine.

  We’re making such a beautiful mess so far, as I’ve said; let’s continue on this path. Let’s make this memorable and pleasurable for both of us.

  We’ve earned it, don’t you think?

  As it stands, we have another hour or so before I can continue dissecting you. I’ll take this dead slab of meat and wrap it tightly and securely and stow it away until we’re ready to attempt to reattach it.

  Rest well, little one. We’ll begin again soon.

  3

  Madness.

  That’s what stares me in the face each time we’re near each other. The smile that sits so kindly while hiding such insidious thoughts and actions makes this only the more horrifying. It’s true―I wasn’t stolen. I signed up for this because I know I deserve the punishment, but my God, I never expected it to be anything like what we’re doing.