All That Matters (Red Light Ladies #1) Read online

  “The name I was born with was Helenka,” she said quietly. “My new name is Minikin.”

  “And where are you from, Minikin?” I asked.

  “The Czech Republic,” she replied proudly.

  “Well Minikin, don’t expect to be my friend. Or talk to me again after this conversation is over for that matter. People that I get close to, even just a little close to, tend to disappear,” I said tiredly.

  “Why do you keep saying my name like that?” she asked in confusion.

  “Because I don’t want you to follow my lead and ask to do by your birth name. Kerstan is not one for games or jokes or anything that seems pleasant or joyful really, and he’ll take that as a sign of rebellion. God knows what’ll happen to you then.”

  Before this is over, I’m going to make him tell me what Betje did to him that was so offensive that he sold her. And I want to know to who, I thought darkly to myself.

  She looked at me like I was lying, or maybe like I was full of myself. I wasn’t sure which yet, but it was her ass that would be handed off to someone else; not mine. With a shrug, I reached under the bed and felt around until my hands clasped around the cigarette box holding my last smoke. I shook out the lighter and tossed the empty box onto the bed before lighting my cigarette and inhaling deeply.

  This was a clusterfuck and I hated it. In no way shape or form, did I want to be having any desires for Kerstan that weren’t murderous, but the way he ... My body shivered at the memory and I turned my attention back to Minikin.

  “How old are you?” I asked her.

  “Nineteen.”

  Figures. That seems to be the age most of these girls are, I thought with a scoff.

  “I hope you’ve had sex already honey, because you do not want your cherry popped by one of those vicious bastards,” I said, flicking the ashes of my cigarette onto the floor.

  She turned her face away and sniffled. Oh fuck. She is a virgin. Think of something quick, Amity.

  I sighed and brought my knee up, resting my arm on top of it. There had to be a way to save this girl from the horrors of being one of Kerstan’s whores. I glanced around the room trying to brainstorm when her sudden sob distracted me.

  “Whatever you do, never let him see you cry,” I warned holding up a finger. “Not that you should have to worry about that. I’m going to get you out of here, but you’re going to have to pull it together for me. Can you do that?”

  “Why would you help me?” she asked suddenly.

  That’s a good question. Because I can’t help myself? Because I couldn’t help Betje? Because one of us should make it out of here unscathed?

  “Let’s just say it’ll be the only good deed that someone will remember me for,” I replied quietly looking out the window. I took another drag of my cigarette, only to find that in my masterminding the break out of Minikin, I had let it burn down to the filter. I looked down on my bed and sighed, sliding the ashes onto the floor. “That was my last one too,” I said with a rueful smile.

  “Lieve, uw aanwezigheid wordt gevraagd,” one of the grandmothers as I was now calling them said, poking her head into the room.

  I glanced at her and nodded. I didn’t understand all of what she said, but I did manage to catch the gist of it. I was being summoned and there was only one person in this house who would want to see me.

  “I want you to stay here until I get back, Minikin. If anyone opens that door, you go out that window and down that tree. Go hide in the gardens; I’ll be able to find you there. Okay?” I asked getting to my feet.

  She nodded and I gave her a small smile, before turning on my heel and walking out of the room. I closed the door behind me firmly and followed the grandmother toward the far west side of the home. We walked around a corner that was so well hidden, that you’d never know it was there unless you were privileged to the information.

  But it was more obvious than being “summoned” that we were on our way to Kerstan’s room. Which meant he wanted to start his sexual adventures with me tonight. Which meant that Minikin was going to be on her own and if she went into the gardens, I probably wouldn’t be able to get to her until tomorrow. Fuck.

  The grandmother led me to a pair of beautiful wooden double doors at the end of the dimly lit hallway and gestured for me to enter. I put one hand on the elaborate gold tone doorknob and bit my lower lip nervously.

  My hesitation was not a deterrent to the grandmother who took the decision from me when she put her hand on mine and opened the door, giving me a gentle shove inside.

  Kerstan was sitting in a grand leather chair by the window, one leg crossed atop the other, while he held a glass of wine in one hand, still in his exquisite clothing from the Feast of the New Flesh. Of course he didn’t call it that, but I did. I had been through enough new girls here that I just started making names up for certain things. I could see from his gaze that something outside had caught his attention, but I didn’t care enough to allow myself to become curious.

  He took a sip of wine before he spoke, “What took so long?”

  My inner fear gave way to annoyance almost immediately.

  “Apologies, your Highness, I didn’t realize we were under a time crunch here,” I replied sarcastically.

  A laugh escaped from somewhere inside of him; the first I ever heard from Kerstan. I rolled my eyes nonetheless, and pulled my panties off. I tossed them to the side and went to his lush king sized bed and climbed on. I made myself comfortable somewhere in the middle of it and cleared my throat.

  “Lieve, may I ask you something?”

  “You promised to call me Amity when we were alone,” I reminded him in a cold tone.

  “Amity. So, may I?” He took another sip of wine and never tore his eyes off of whatever he was looking at outside.

  “Sure.”

  “Was Betje your lover?”

  “What? No! Why would you think that?” I asked in shock.

  “Because you tried to bargain for her return. I simply assumed you to be lovers,” he replied setting his now empty glass down on the floor next to him.

  “She was my friend,” I replied, emphasizing the word.

  He nodded. I pushed my hair behind my ears and sighed. I wondered how long it would take for him to do something I had no desire to do.

  “And Margit?”

  “We were getting there. To being friends I mean,” I replied.

  “What of Minikin? She seemed a bit distraught when I excused you yesterday,” he said conversationally.

  “Because she’s scared, Kerstan. She doesn’t want to be here anymore than the rest of us do. We’re not friends though. I already told her not to even attempt to be my friend because I have zero interest.”

  Kerstan chuckled and finally got to his feet. I closed my eyes tightly for a moment and told myself not to fight him; to let him do whatever he wanted to me. But when the bed didn’t creak and when I didn’t hear the sound of his pants unzipping, I cracked one eye open and glanced over at him. He had his hands pressed firmly on the windowsill and he was looking at something almost directly below him.

  “Come here,” he said without looking at me.

  I took a deep breath and shimmied toward the end of the bed. I quickly walked over to Kerstan’s side and he finally turned to glance at me. His smile gave me chills, because it was the sinister smile he would almost always get when he was going to say or do something completely fucked up.

  He turned slightly and sat on the windowsill keeping his eyes glued to my face. I raised an eyebrow at his intent stare and wondered how high up we really were and if a jump would kill or just maim me.

  “So, Minikin is of no consequence to you, then?” he asked.

  “None,” I lied, licking my lips nervously.

  With a nod, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a cell phone. I watched as he pressed a button, held the phone to his ear, and after a short moment, said something in Dutch. No sooner did he hang up his phone than I heard a scream from outside. Cur
iously, I got as close as I could to Kerstan so that I could look outside. And when I looked down, my heart broke and tears sprang to my eyes.

  It was Minikin. Sweet virginal Minikin, surrounded by a small group of men. Instinctively, I tried to push past Kerstan because I reasoned there had to be some way to get down into the gardens that I now knew sat below his window, and save her from what was about to happen. But he gripped my wrists tightly in his arms, and sat me down on the small sliver of space next to him.

  “Watch.”

  That was his simple command. His only wish for this entire evening tonight was that I would watch. One of them looked up at the window at Kerstan, almost as if waiting for approval. I wasn’t sure if he gave a nod, because my back was pressed against his body, but the man grabbed Minikin by her hair and lifted her head.

  When she saw me she burst into tears. This young girl who trusted me, or at least I thought she did, was looking up at her owner and her pseudo friend sitting on the windowsill “together” watching.

  “Kerstan, please don’t do this to her. Please, she’s a virgin. This isn’t right. This shouldn’t happen to her,” I whispered frantically to him.

  He chuckled behind me, and let one hand slide from my left wrist, around my waist. “I don’t like being lied to Amity. Your foolishness is what costs her purity. I will not tell them to be gentle and I will not stop them. I want them to bruise her on the inside and I want her to know that you had a hand in it. And do you know why? Because you think yourself my equal and it drives me mad. If you wish to be my equal, then you will learn how. At the expense of those close to you,” he whispered into my ear.

  I watched as the man let go of her hair and pushed her roughly to the ground. I watched as he ripped her panties from her body and I watched as he took his erection out of his pants and position himself behind her.

  “Let me take her place,” I pleaded.

  “No. You’re still a whore, but you’re now my whore until it is time to give you up. Now. Watch.”

  And I did.

  As each man climbed on top of her after her initial, brutal pounding that she took. After she had her virginity stolen from her in the worse way possible, I sat and I watched as each of the men took turns viciously raping Minikin; sometimes two at a time, as she cried helplessly until her tears and sobs faded away to nothing. Until she just lay in the gardens that I once loved so much and took violation after violation, a stoic, faraway look on her face.

  Five

  I was lying in Kerstan’s bed, the sounds of Minikin’s screams and sobs echoing loudly in my mind. As loud as a sonic boom exploding over and over in my mind. I knew the sun would be up soon and I would hopefully be allowed to go back to our rooms. I decided that I would convince Minikin to run away with me; I wanted to set her free more now than ever and I would come back so that he wouldn’t send anyone to chase her.

  The sun had not yet come up when Kerstan stirred behind me. His fingers came to life and slowly rubbed my belly before he removed his hand to my hip.

  “Goedemorgen,” he said softly.

  “Not quite,” I replied curtly. I grit my teeth to keep myself from attempting to break his hand. His touch to me was viler than that of any of the “customers” I had been sent to entertain.

  He chuckled tiredly and took his hand from my hip, using it to brush my hair away from my face and neck. Kerstan shifted slightly and gently grazed his lips against my neck, causing my body to react. My mind however, was wondering how long I would be able to take this before I tried to impale him with the pen that was sitting on the nightstand next to us.

  He shifted again, pressing himself against me, and I immediately became outraged. I could feel his erection firmly behind his pants and I wanted to drive an elbow down into it.

  But even though he knew how violently angry I was at him for what happened to Minikin, he gently pressed his lips against my neck, causing me to squirm slightly. Fuck. No, no, no. Do NOT give this bastard the satisfaction, I screamed at myself as he used his hand to gently cup my breast. His forefinger and thumb closed around my nipple and he squeezed it gently, before giving it a pull. My breath came out in a shuddery gasp when he turned me over onto my back.

  “Is it a good morning yet?” he asked with a half tired smile before leaning forward and taking my nipple into his mouth.

  Don’t react. Don’t react. DO NOT REACT.

  “Not quite,” I said again, closing my eyes tightly and balling my fists at my side.

  I felt his smile on me before he gently nibbled on my nipple. The bed bounced slightly as he moved his body down. Knowing what he was going to do, I locked my knees together like a bear trap. No way in hell was he going to do anything to me that I didn’t want.

  “It’ll be worth it, Amity. I promise,” he said gently as he pulled my legs apart. Kerstan was a lot stronger than I thought he was. My legs gave way without so much as a slight struggle.

  And then I heard it. The sound I was waiting for last night; the zipper coming undone. I heard his belt clink slightly as he un-looped it and the sound of the fabric of him sliding his pants and underwear off.

  I grunted when he pushed himself inside of me. Kerstan was a big boy, bigger than I ever had anyway, but not big enough to tear anything. Not that he could; I’d had so many cocks and toys in there in the past year, that I was surprised I could still feel anything.

  “I can’t do this if you won’t look at me,” he said with a laugh. The friendly laugh; not the evil laugh. For a moment, I forgot that he was a monster and let my eyes open.

  His haunting green eyes went from dancing with laughter to absolute lust as our eyes locked and I found myself lost in them. He pushed inside of me again, a little gentler than the first, and I let my hands find their way to his sides. I found myself grabbing at his shirt, trying to pull it off of him, while he began to rhythmically thrust in and out of me. I wrapped my legs around him and pulled harder at his shirt, getting it halfway up over him, when he gripped me and turned us over. Kerstan pulled his shirt back down before putting his hands on my hips and looking at me with commanding eyes. I closed mine and leaned my head back as I started to move on top of him.

  His breathing became unsteady as he started to thrust upward. I opened my eyes and gave him a grin, leaning forward to balance myself on his shoulders, and began to bounce up and down on his cock causing him to close his eyes, and moan loudly.

  I moved harder and faster than I ever had. I don’t know what had come over me, other than my desperate need to please him. Kerstan reached up and grabbed my breasts and squeezed them tightly, his hands like vice grips as I continued to bounce on his cock.

  A euphoric gasp escaped my lips as I felt the orgasm building deep inside of me. How was it possible that this man that I hated so much could make me cum so quickly? One more bounce, two, three, the fourth being met with him ramming his cock up inside of me and I gripped his arms tightly as my insides tightened up, before releasing my juices all over his cock.

  My breath came in pants as I held onto him until the orgasm subsided and I was able to somewhat regain control of my body. I closed my eyes for a moment and laughed; something I always did after I came and let go of his arms.

  “Mooi,” he said quietly.

  I opened my eyes and looked at him. Oh. You’re still here. I climbed off of him and sat next to him on the bed, my legs stretched out in front of him. It couldn’t have lasted more than ten minutes, but I think I was able to cum because I had somehow managed to convince myself subconsciously that Kerstan wasn’t Kerstan.

  “What does that mean?” I asked, examining my fingernails.

  “It means beautiful,” he explained, pulling himself up to sit next to me.

  How the hell can he still be hard? I wondered sneaking a peek at his cock.

  “Did you cum?” I asked him.

  “No.”

  That’s how.

  “Sorry. Guess I’m not as good as I thought I was,” I replied with a shrug.r />
  “Don’t apologize. You were magnificent, but if I am not in control of the situation when I’m fucking, then I can’t cum,” he said simply.

  Figures, I thought with an internal eye roll.

  There was a soft tap at the door and Kerstan sighed. He got to his feet and pulled his pants and underwear on before reaching down for my panties and tossing them at me. Just like a trick; he’s done with me and now it’s time to go. I got to my feet and pulled them on, before I sat down on the edge of the bed waiting to be dismissed.

  He opened the door slightly and leaned a hand against the adjacent door as he poked his head out. I couldn’t hear what was being said, but the soft tone and the Dutch told me that it was clearly one of the grandmothers. I watched curiously as his body stiffened and he leaned his head back, a sigh escaping his body. He nodded before closing the door securely behind him and kept his back to me, hand still against the door.

  “Amity, come here please,” he said quietly.

  A bad feeling began to wash over me like a waterfall, as I got to my feet and made my way to him. As I neared him, I could almost swore that I heard him swear under his breath, but he used one hand to quickly wipe his face clean of any evidence of emotion before he turned to face me.

  “I must travel to Utrecht this afternoon. I have a pressing matter to attend to. I will return this evening,” he said.

  “Why are you telling me this?” I asked in confusion.

  “Because I want you to know why I will be gone. And to ensure that nothing foolish happens in my absence,” he said pointedly.

  I nodded in understanding. In other words, he didn’t want me to think this would be a good time to break any of the girls out.

  Minikin.

  “Am I excused, Kerstan? I’d like to get back to my room and um ...,” my voice trailed off, not finding the right words to lie with.

  “Yes. But she isn’t there. She’s in the Care Room where she is not granted visitors. Do you understand me?” he asked, grabbing me by an arm.

  I nodded and he let me go. Kerstan stepped aside, allowing me to leave his room, and I found a grandmother waiting to escort me back to the room all of his glorious hookers shared.